


Weird Leaps and Bounds

by Little_Bunny



Series: The Weird 'Verse [8]
Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Key, Life Changes, Non-Sexual Age Play, Platonic Relationships, Queerplatonic Relationships, Ruining History, Why I Left BuzzFeed, adopting a cat, zucchini - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-20
Updated: 2020-02-20
Packaged: 2021-02-26 12:50:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22809991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Little_Bunny/pseuds/Little_Bunny
Summary: Their relationship is stronger than ever. It's time Ryan gets a key.Also, they're getting a cat.Things are changing, but it's gonna be okay.
Relationships: Ryan Bergara & Shane Madej, Ryan Bergara & Shane Madej & Sara Rubin
Series: The Weird 'Verse [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1563661
Comments: 17
Kudos: 83





	Weird Leaps and Bounds

**Author's Note:**

> While this uses the names and likenesses of real people and companies, this bears no relationship to these people or companies. This is a work of complete and utter fiction.

They go to work on Monday. Shane's still on crutches, but they're basically for balance because he can rest weight on his foot. 

Ryan, she notices, is still mother-henning the crap out of him. Shane tolerates it with good humor.

She thinks it's adorable.

At the end of the day, once many of their coworkers have already left, Ryan swings by her desk. "Alright, guess I'm going back to the Frat House tonight," he says.

She gives him a hug. "You tell Shane?" she asks.

"Of course," he says. She squeezes him extra tight. 

"Alright. See you tomorrow. Maybe we can do dinner?" He spent the whole weekend with them, but ever since the thought occurred to her, she can't help but wish he was coming home with them.

"Sounds good," he says. He pats her back and releases her. "Text me if you need me."

"Back atcha," she says.

* * *

They make it home without Ryan. She doesn't know what Shane thinks, but she finds herself missing his presence. He brings a different energy into the house due to his relentless extraversion.

Sometimes she and Shane really need that.

It's about nine, and they're getting ready for bed. Shane is sitting awkwardly on their double vanity counter and brushing his teeth over his shoulder. He's still using the crutches to balance and keep a little weight off the leg.

He spits a bunch of toothpaste into the sink. "At least it's healing," he says. Sara nods.

"Couple more days and you'll probably feel back to normal, right?"

He shrugs and rinses his mouth out, spitting a long stream of water into his suck. "Hope so."

He limps to the bedroom with the crutches while she washes off her makeup and moisturizes. Then she heads in.

He's gotten himself in bed, and stubbornly, he's turned his "usual" direction. "Does that hurt your ankle?" she asks.

Shane shakes his head. "It's fine, Sar," he says. She crawls in on her side of the bed.

They cozy up together. "A little weird that Ryan isn't here, isn't it?" Sara asks. She feels Shane sigh behind her.

"Yeah, kinda. It was nice to...I dunno, to know he was right next door?" Shane sounds slightly hesitant. "I think…" He trails off.

"Yeah?" Sara prods gently.

"I dunno. Do you think giving him a...a key or something is too much?"

Sara lets out her breath in a whoosh that startles Shane; she feels him jump against her back. "I honestly have been thinking the same thing," she says, squirming around so she can see Shane face to face. "But I felt a little weird suggesting it."

"Why?" Shane sounds genuinely confused. She loves that occasionally dense man.

"I mean, he was your, you know, QPP first or whatever," she says. She feels Shane laugh.

"QPP? Is that what the kids call it nowadays?"

"I heard "zucchini" as well, but it seems mildly phallic in nature to me," Sara says.

Shane positively cackles. "Can you imagine if we started calling Ryan our zucchini? Wonder what he'd think of that."

She isn't sure. He's come leaps and bounds in a lot of areas, but when Curly teased him about being a "thrill ride," his whole face lit up bright, glowing red.

Then again, if someone referred to her that way, she's pretty sure she would die of embarrassment too.

"I don't know," Sara says. "I was talking to Alex, and they said that their QPP liked the term though." Alex has actually been a great, discreet resource for good info on the queerplatonic thing though. They're out, and they discuss it fairly regularly. Sara's been learning new vocabulary and working her way through the links and sending them to the boys.

She doesn't know if Alex suspects anything, but if they do, they're being very discreet about it. Sara appreciates that.

Sara also knows that the boys are pretty busy right now at work trying to plan a new season so they aren't necessarily reading them like she is.

Shane shrugs. "Wanna send him a selfie?" he asks.

She knows that she looks tired. It won't be the cutest picture they've ever sent. But it's for Ryan, who has definitely seen them at less than cute before.

"Sure," she says. Shane grabs his phone and pulls her close. She smiles for the camera.

The picture is actually not bad. They look sleepy but happy, nestled up with each other under the covers.

Sara steals the phone. "Wish you were here, our fave zucchini," she says as she types it. She links the article about the origin of the word zucchini in the place of queerplatonic partner. She hits send.

They sigh and Sara gives Shane his phone back.

"Anyway, he might have started as my zucchini or whatever, but come on. He's definitely yours now too, in a different way," Shane continues, as though their conversation hadn't been sidelined because of the millennial urge to selfie everything. "I see you two together, how you love each other, separate of me."

It's true. Their relationship is obviously different than the one Ryan and Shane have, but it's still strong, supportive, and real. 

She plants a kiss on Shane's lips. "I love you, babe," she says.

"I think you're pretty swell too," Shane says, pulling out his best transcontinental accent.

She laughs. "You dork."

Shane's phone buzzes, and he picks it up and lifts it so they can both see the screen. 

It's a selfie of Ryan, at the Frat House, in his bed. He's shirtless, wearing glasses, with his hair flopping softly over his forehead. A book is tented at his side; looks like a little light True Crime reading. The camera is pointed at his face, but also the bed next to him, which is yawningly empty. 

> ** _Ryan Bergara: Does that make us the veggie patch?_ **
> 
> ** _Ryan Bergara: and I wish I were there too. The guys are great, don't get me wrong, but I've been worried about you two._ **
> 
> ** _Shane Madej: why?_ **
> 
> ** _Ryan Bergara: because I love you you idiot. _ **
> 
> ** _Shane Madej: you don't have to worry about us, though_ **

The phone rings suddenly, and it's Ryan. Shane picks it up and puts it on speaker.

"Hey, Night Night," he says cheerfully. "What prompts a call?"

"If you fall on Sara and fucking squash her, I'll never forgive myself, so I had to check," Ryan replies. "You still doing ok on the crutches?"

"He's doing fine, Ry," Sara tells him. She can hear that Papa instinct in him, trying to surface, but he's doing a decent job keeping it down. "He barely needs them anymore. I'd bet that by this Friday, he'll be free of them completely."

"Oh before that I hope," Shane says. 

"Just use the damn things until you don't need them any longer," Ryan says firmly. "If you won't do it for yourself, please do it for Sara and me. I don't want you to go off them too early and spend another week unable to walk. Please?"

It's not the full Papa Ry voice, but she sees a special fondness in Shane's face. "Alright," he says. "If it makes you feel better, I'll use them until Thursday at least. But know that I could probably manage without them right now if I had to, like a zombie apocalypse or something."

"You'd be sitting duck. You'd be like one of those teriyaki chicken on-a-stick from the Chinese buffet."

"I'd use my crutches as brain-bashing tools," Shane denies. "I'd be fine."

"Not to interrupt, gentlemen," Sara interrupts ironically, "but it's probably bedtime."

"Yeah, agreed," Ryan says. "We still on for tomorrow?" His voice gets a little quieter. "It's weird being here without you guys."

It gives Sara a warm feeling in her chest to realize that Ryan misses them as much as they do him. "Of course," she says. "Sleep well, darling zucchini," Sara teases him with gentle sincerity. "See you tomorrow."

"Good night, Larry," Shane says.

"He was definitely a cucumber," Ryan says, as though Shane's reference makes any sense whatsoever.

Shane laughs. "Alright. Good night Ry."

"Good night, buddy. 'Night, Sar."

"Good night," she says softly, and hangs up, handing Shane his phone.

"Who is Larry?" she asks.

Shane sighs and tells her a convoluted story about a tomato named Bob and a cucumber named Larry that sing catchy, funny songs for children as well as Christian propaganda. "They're mixed together, for maximum impact on developing child psyches. And if you go to public school in the Midwest, it's not unheard of for the substitute teacher to throw this propaganda on for the class."

She finds herself happy to be Jewish and living on the west coast. The heartland of the country seems like a very strange place.

"Hmm," she says. "Sounds terrible."

"Truly," Shane answers. 

She reaches over and turns off her bedside light, sending the room into darkness. "Goodnight babe," she says softly.

"Goodnight," Shane replies. She feels him press a kiss into her hair.

* * *

> **_  
Sara Rubin: You still coming over tonight?_ **
> 
> ** _Sara Rubin: Making garlic chicken if that tips the scales._ **
> 
> ** _Ryan Bergara: You don't have to bribe me_ **
> 
> ** _Ryan Bergara: but that sounds great_ **
> 
> ** _Shane Madej: we'll make zucchini too_ **
> 
> ** _Ryan Bergara: ...is that a euphemism?_ **
> 
> ** _Sara Rubin: lol no_ **
> 
> ** _Shane Madej: Absolutely. Sara doesn't know what she's talking about._ **
> 
> ** _Ryan Bergara: lol whatever. I'm always down for food_ **

* * *

Ryan shows up bearing mini cupcakes and a big smile. Shane greets him at the door with a hug and the single crutch that he uses for balance.

"You'd think we hadn't spent the whole damn day together," Ryan says, his voice muffled slightly by Shane's shoulder. Sara can't help but smile at them.

"I can't be happy to see you?" Shane asks, taking the cupcakes.

"Hi Sara," Ryan says. "Listen, I'm not complaining." He affectionately punches Shane's shoulder. 

"Sounds like it to me," Shane jokes.

"Hey Ryan," Sara says. "Thanks for picking up some dessert."

"No problem," Ryan says. He comes into the kitchen and gives her a side hug since she's busy browning the chicken. "You need a hand?"

"Grab the glass pan for me," she says. "We've got to bake this for a bit."

He does as she asks, and she smiles when she realizes he knows exactly which pan she wanted and where it's kept.

Shane comes into thein the kitchen and squeezes her shoulders. "Anything I can do?" he asks.

"You wanna slice the zucchini?" Sara asks. 

Ryan gives her an startled look and Shane laughs.

"You're safe, man," he says, grabbing the produce from the counter. "Actually zucchini."

Sara laughs too, and Ryan looks a little sheepish. 

"So it wasn't a euphemism," he says.

Shane waggles his eyebrows. "We'll see about that."

* * *

They're sitting at the table, quietly finishing their meal of garlic chicken, rice, and pan-seared garlic zucchini. It's a companionable quiet. She watches Ryan peel the paper off a cupcake and pop the entire thing in his mouth.

"No one's gonna steal it from you," she says.

He swallows hard. "It's better like that. Good mix of frosting and cake." There's frosting on his teeth. He swipes his tongue across them.

"Thank goodness you got the mini ones," Shane says, taking a bite of his own. "Dunno if I could handle watching you disengage your jaw like a snake."

Sara gets up, since they're almost finished eating, and goes to the kitchen. It's in the junk drawer, attached to a tiny keychain they ordered from Amazon. She tucks it in her jean pocket.

She meets Shane's eyes, and he gives her a little smile. He's excited about this too. But they both agreed that it should come from her, since Ryan was pretty damn certain of Shane. His relationship with her is newer and less solid.

She wants him to know that this is something they both want.

She really hopes Ryan wants it too.

"We got you something, Ry," Sara says. Ryan looks at her as she eases back into her seat. "We really liked having you here last week, and, you know, you're part of our family too."

Ryan's eyes go soft. "You guys…" he says quietly. Shane reaches over and grabs his hand.

It makes Sara smile too. 

"So Shane and I were talking about it, and we thought it made sense." She digs into her tiny pocket and tucks the key in her hand. "We want you to have this."

She holds out her hand and slowly uncurls her fingers, showing Ryan the key to their place. 

His mouth opens slightly, and he stares at it. Then he looks to her, then Shane, and then back to her.

"You've already got a room," Shane says. "We figured you should have a key too. Our_ casa es su casa _and all that."

Ryan looks at her like he's trying to confirm it. She reaches for his free hand and turns it face-up on the tabletop. "Here." She puts it in his hand. "So you know that you can come by whenever you want. You're always welcome here."

His fingers close around it, and he pulls it closer to examine the keychain. Then he laughs. It sounds a little damp.

They found the keychain online, a little wooden circle with a zucchini emblazoned on it. Ryan is examining it with a little smile on his face.

"Zucchini, huh? That's what we're going with?"

"That's the term," Sara says. Ryan sniffs, and rubs at his eyes with the cuff of his sweater. "It's less of a mouthful than queerplatonic partner. And it definitely fits better on a keychain."

"Fair," Ryan replies. He examines it, and chuckles, rubbing his fingers against the design. "I… Thank you. I don't even know what to say." He sniffs again.

Shane scoots closer and wraps his arms around Ryan. Sara stands up and goes over to hug them both.

"Welcome to the vegetable patch," Sara says quietly. 

Ryan giggles first, but it doesn't take long for them to join in. And if he's not the only one who is a little emotional, there's really nowhere safer for it.

* * *

They're on the couch now watching _ Black Panther, _ and for a change, Ryan's in the middle, sandwiched between her and Shane. He's got an arm around both of them, with Shane leaning against his shoulder. She's got her head on his chest.

It's new, but it feels good. 

She can hear Ryan's heartbeat, slow and relaxed. 

"What are your feelings on cats?" Sara asks, looking up at Ryan. It's a bit out of nowhere, but Ryan rolls with it.

"I like them," he says after a moment of contemplation. "I mean, I wouldn't want an actual black panther or anything, but, you know, house cats are pretty sweet."

Shane glances over at her. "What about if _ we _ got a cat?" he asks. The two of them have been considering it for awhile now, but now, they've got to clear it with Ryan too.

"Why are you asking me?" Ryan says. "You do what you want."

"Ryan," Shane says, sounding mildly exasperated. "We literally just gave you a key. Don't you think we might want your input on a big thing like that?"

He actually looks surprised. "I... I mean, it's not like I'm living here though."

"Well, no, but you're part of this," Sara says, patting his stomach. "So what do you think?"

Ryan takes a deep breath and blows it out. "I do like animals," he says. "But uh… Can you keep it out of the guest room?"

"You're allergic," Shane says, sounding dismayed. "I forgot!"

Sara cringes. She forgot too.

"I'm not that allergic!" Ryan protests. "But I definitely shouldn't sleep on a pillow full of cat fur."

"We probably shouldn't," Sara says. It's not fair to him if their house sends him into sneezing fits.

Ryan shakes his head. "No. No. Don't _ not _ get a cat because of me. Guys, I'd feel so guilty. I do like cats, and it's really not that bad." He looks a little sad. "I'd actually like a cat."

She glances at Shane, who shrugs. "Is that really how you feel about it?" he asks. "Cuz it's easier not to get one than to get one and regret it."

Ryan nods. "Honestly. I'd really like one." He looks sincere. "Listen, my parents have dogs. It's not like I avoid them either."

That's a good point. "It would be easy enough to keep a cat out of your room," Sara says. "We can just keep the door closed."

"Perfect," Shane says.

"My room?" Ryan says, his voice high and slightly squeaky.

"Who else stays here, Ryan?" Sara asks rhetorically.

"Get used to the idea," Shane adds. "Especially if it's gonna be a cat free zone."

Ryan's face is pinking up, but he looks happy. "Alright," he says. He pats her shoulder. "I think I can handle that."

"Maybe we can sneak out to the Humane Society on our lunch break one of these days," Sara suggests. "See if there's a kitty that calls our names."

"That sounds fun," Ryan says. Shane pumps his arm in the air triumphantly.

"Yes! My plot has succeeded!"

Ryan elbows him in the gut. "Don't get ahead of yourself, big guy," he says.

"Oh, I'm already three steps ahead. I'm the chessmaster, and you and Sara are my pawns." He smirks at them both. "We're getting a cat."

"Maybe I was the chessmaster," Ryan says. "Maybe I just made you both think you wanted a cat." He's grinning widely. "Maybe that was my plan all along. Hell, maybe I'm not even allergic!"

"Nice try, boys, but we all know who the real chessmaster is here," Sara says. "I got my cat _ and _ my Ryan, and it wasn't even hard."

They both look at her, open-mouthed.

"She's got a point," Shane says.

Ryan just nods. "No argument here." He's grinning now, and he looks… Comfortable. Happy. "We all know who's really the boss in this relationship."

Sara laughs.

* * *

Wednesday they're all too busy to sneak out on their lunch, because she's finalizing the plans for her hair shoot, and the boys are in meetings literally all day. 

"They're really squeezing the shit out of our budget," Shane tells her as they drive home. He looks frustrated. "_ Unsolved _ is such a big moneymaker for them, so Ryan and I are fine, but they're talking about clipping the crew again." 

She nods. Her department had a similar meeting last week. "Did they ask if anyone was interested in moving to contractor status?" It's such a shitty thing to do because most people won't want to lose the benefits that come with employment, but it was still better than being unceremoniously dismissed.

"Yeah. We've got a month to consider it," Shane says. "And then the chopping starts."

"Fuck," Sara says. 

She sees Shane nod out of the corner of her eye. "Exactly."

* * *

So it's Thursday lunch when the three of them sneak away. 

The Humane Society smells strongly of dogs when they walk through the door. An older lady in a Humane Society tee shirt greets them. 

"Hi folks! I'm Marilyn. How can I help you?" she asks. She's got short, salt-and-pepper hair, a pair of reading glasses perched on her nose, and a friendly smile. 

"We want to adopt a cat," Sara says. The woman smiles.

"Well, you've definitely come to the right place," she says. "Any particular kind of cat in mind?"

"The right one," Shane says enthusiastically. "We'll know it when we see it."

"Sounds good," she says. "Here, follow me. I'll show you to the cat area."

They follow her like ducklings, winding through concrete hallways. They walk past a door that contains a lot of dogs if the barking is any indication. A sign over another declares "Small Animals." She sees Ryan peek in the window in the door.

"Whoa. They've got rabbits in there," he says. "I saw ears."

"Cats," she says. "Focus, Ry."

He laughs. 

Marilyn brings them to the end of a hallway, where a sign reads "Cats." She opens the door.

The metal kennels are three high, and there are cats in nearly every one. Her heart clenches. 

"You folks just let me know if you'd like to visit with a particular cat," Marilyn says. "Ethan's back here somewhere too, so he can help you if you need it."

"Great. Thank you so much," Shane says. The woman smiles and heads back out the door, leaving them alone with the cats.

They all go in different directions. Sara sees a very fat, grey tabby curled in the corner of its kennel. It's directly at her eye level.

The card on the door says her name is Lucinda, and she is a lap cat who likes older people. Sara laughs, imagining this behemoth of a cat curled on her lap. She's got to be twenty pounds if she's an ounce. She gently eases her fingers into the cage, but Lucinda doesn't seem impressed.

She glances over her shoulder. Shane is bent to look into a middle cage. She sees a tiny black paw jut out to bat at his hand.

"Guys, do we want a kitten?" he asks.

"How hard do you think it is to train a cat to use a litter box?" Sara asks, because she's not sure. She sees Shane wince.

"Maybe a little older," he says, moving to another cage.

She looks at Ryan, who is sitting on the floor in front of a cage. He seems happy enough, wiggling his fingers in the bars. He isn't sneezing, at least. 

She checks out the next cage, which contains two cats. "Max and Mimi. Please don't split us up!" the sign says.

They're very striking, with a mix of black and orange coloration, with green eyes. But there's really no room for two cats in their house. She pets one of them between the ears.

She walks closer to Ryan, who is still sitting in front of the same cage. "Who did you meet, Ry?" she asks.

He's smiling softly, gently using his fingertips to stroke a cat who is neither a kitten nor an adult, but something lean and lanky in between. "This is Juan," he says softly. "And he's a sweetheart, aren't you?" he coos at the cat. 

The little orange tabby purrs.

She recognizes that look on Ryan's face. The last time she saw it, he had Shane in his lap, feeding him from a sippy cup. It's that same soft, enamored thing. "Oh boy," she says, squatting down next to Ryan and offering the cat her hand. He noses at it.

She feels Shane come up behind her. "Oh, he's a cutie," he says, and then he kneels on Ryan's other side. He scratches under the cat's chin. "Aren't you, little one?"

Sara pushes herself back to her feet. "I'll go see if we can take him out of the cage," she says. She knows a good thing when she sees it.

* * *

So they can't take him home today, because he's a stray and there's a window of time for his former owners to claim him.

But they can put their names down to adopt him if he isn't claimed, and they easily do.

"We'll give you a call once the stray window closes," Marilyn promises. 

"What if his family comes for him?" Ryan asks. "Will you tell us?"

Sara slips under his arm and gives him a hug, because he seems worried. He's already getting attached. Marilyn nods.

"If they come, we'll let you know too," she says. "I can't make any promises, of course, but honestly, it's pretty rare for someone to come looking for a stray who doesn't have a microchip. He's got one now, because they always put one in when they spay or neuter, but he didn't have one before."

She feels Shane's hand land on Ryan's shoulder. "Thank you," he says to Marilyn.

"You're so welcome. You folks have a good day." 

* * *

They get the call in a week. It's near the end of the work day, and she and Shane have decided to cut out early under the pretense of filming her hair vlog. But Ryan shakes his head when she invites him.

"You'll have to go without me," Ryan says. "I'll come over tonight. I've been working on a thing and I need to get it done."

"Sure," Sara says. He looks concerned, too tightly wound for her to push him. "Shane and I will get him. You come over when you can."

He flashes her a smile that doesn't hide the stress in his eyes. "You're the best," he says. She rubs her hand on his shoulder. Shane pats his back. 

"See you later, Ry-guy," Shane says quietly. 

"Of course," Ryan says, already sounding distracted.

They make a quick run to PetSmart, then head to the Humane Society. It's a relatively quick process, and suddenly, they're walking out with an adolescent cat named Juan who is meowing in his carrier.

"I dunno about the name," Shane says. "I think we can do better."

Sara agrees. "Well, we can try to find a better one," she says. 

* * *

Ryan calls, "Hey guys!" as he comes in the door.

"We're in the office, Ryan!" Shane calls. The little orange cat skitters across the floor in surprise. 

"Juan's in here too," Sara warns as he comes in. He closes the door behind him. 

Shane is sitting cross-legged in the chair, while Sara's laying on the floor. Ryan rolls his shoulders and sits down on the floor as well.

"Are we really calling him Juan?" Ryan asks. "I've got a cousin named Juan. That's a little weird."

Shane shrugs. "What do you think we should call him?" he asks.

"Cheeto," Ryan says immediately. Sara giggles.

"Hashtag not sponsored," she adds. That makes Ryan snort.

"Cheddar. Chester. Um…"

"I'm not eating him," Sara says. The cat cautiously walks closer to them. She can see him sniffing. "No food names."

"Chewie," Shane suggests. "Chewbacca." 

"Wrong color," Sara says. "Also, shorthair."

"That's racist," Shane jokes.

"Jabba?" Ryan suggests.

"You will not name this precious boy after the vile Jabba the Hutt," Sara says protectively. "Maybe… Maybe a different character. Like Organa, or Kenobi?"

Shane's eyes get big. "Obi Wan Kenobi," he says. "Obi _ Juan _ Kenobi." He looks between her and Ryan, raising his eyebrows. "Get it? Get it?" He's terribly excited about his awful pun, and it's cute.

Ryan actually laughs out loud. "Oh my God, Shane!" he wheezes, clapping his hands together. "You're ridiculous."

Sara laughs too. "I like it," she says. "Maybe it was meant to be?"

The possible Obi Juan Kenobi flops into the floor and lets out a purr. She reaches for him and gently strokes his head.

He seems to like it too.

* * *

"I better go back to the Frat House," Ryan says reluctantly, stretching. He sniffs slightly; she wonders if he took allergy pills before coming over. He doesn't seem too affected. 

"You can totally stay if you want," Sara says, but she stands too. They're all getting a little old to be spending so much time on the floor like college kids. 

"I know, but I don't have clothes, and I nearly died of embarrassment when Andrew called me out last time," Ryan says.

"Maybe you could bring a few emergency changes of clothes over," Shane suggests. "For next time."

"Or, you know, I could borrow you a shirt instead," Sara says with a smirk, because the vision that provokes is comical. Both boys laugh in response.

"Not sure a crop top is the look for me," Ryan says. "Do I look like one of the Try Guys to you?"

"You could have been," Sara says. "In another life."

Ryan shakes his head. "Their BDSM video practically gave me hives," he admits. "I like the guys, but I don't think I'm built for it."

"Fair enough," Sara says. She watches Shane unfold from the chair.

"So Obi Juan will stay in here until he acclimates," he says. "So he doesn't get too anxious with the changes around here."

Sara looks at Ryan, and decides that Obi isn't the only one acclimating here.

They all say goodnight to the cat, who still seems friendly but is definitely curious about this new space. He's got food, water, a bed, and a litter box, along with some toys, though, so he's in good shape. She watches Shane kiss his fingertips and touch them to Obi Juan's face, and Ryan scratches behind the cat's ears.

"Goodnight, fur face," he says affectionately.

Ryan washes his hands quickly before giving Sara and Shane each a good hug. 

"Goodnight, you guys," he says to Shane, who squeezes him around the middle, lifting him momentarily off his feet. That gets a laugh from Ryan. "Jesus, Shane, you oaf!" he teases, and Shane sets him back down.

"Just thought you could use one," he says.

Ryan pats his shoulder before moving to Sara. She hugs him too, and kisses his cheek softly.

"Drive safe. Text us when you get back to the Frat House," she tells him, her inner Jewish mother peeking out. Ryan's eyes are gentle as they meet hers.

"Sure thing, Sar," he promises. She feels him hesitate a moment, then brush a light kiss on her cheek. "Goodnight."

"Hey!" Shane protests jokingly. "Where's mine?"

And she's so proud of Ryan, because though he blushes (just a little), he turns back to Shane. "Well, come here then," he beckons with his hands. "I'll plant one on you too."

Shane, being Shane, takes him up on it, and leans down slightly. Ryan kisses him lightly on the cheek. She sees Shane grin, turn his head a little, and return the kiss. Ryan lights up like a neon sign when Shane's lips touch his cheek, but he doesn't look displeased.

"Atta boy, Ryan," Shane says. "We'll break you of that weird, heteronormative bullshit yet."

"Hey, I'm doing just fine breaking myself!" Ryan protests, smacking Shane's shoulder. Sara thinks that's a pretty fair assessment.

Ryan from this time last year wouldn't have known what to do with any of this.

"Alright, alright, this argument can wait until tomorrow," Sara reminds them. It's amusing to her that when Ryan is doing his Papa Ry thing, he's so responsible and mature, for the lack of a better term. But he and Shane can still argue, tease, and provoke each other like crazy when Ryan isn't fulfilling that caretaker role.

It's probably a good thing. It would be too weird if this 'little' thing changed the _ entire _ dynamic of their friendship 

But practically, it means Sara often gets to be the voice of reason here. "It's getting late, Ryan still needs to drive, and we've all got to be up early tomorrow," she reminds them. 

"Alright. See you then," Ryan says, and with a sweet, mildly awkward wave, he leaves the house.

Shane sighs, and Sara locks the door, peeking out the window for a moment.

It still feels a little weird to watch Ryan go.

* * *

On camera, Sara tries to be supportive of the looks the Ladylike gals dressed the boys in, and to be fair, the one Ryan is wearing isn't bad. The shirt is flattering, and the pants fit pretty well, even though they're glaringly white.

Shane, though…

"You look like a yoga mom," she tells him. The three of them are tucked away at a relatively private table on the BuzzFeed grounds eating lunch. Nobody is around to overhear, which means she can be honest. "And not a hot yoga mom either. The one who wants to talk to the manager."

The boys were too self-conscious to go for lunch out in public like this, and if they had, Sara might have skipped out for once.

"Oh god, it's so bad," Shane says in a low undertone. At heart, he's a pretty kind man, and she knows he doesn't want to hurt Freddie's feelings. "Like, the individual pieces aren't terrible, but the mix…" he trails off, tugging at the leg of his very bright pants. "It's not my thing, and I'm very, _ very _ aware that it's not my thing."

"Those pants are something," Ryan agrees. "That's a lot of ankle."

It really is a lot of ankle.

"Well, we tried something new at least," Shane says. 

"We'll get a ton of clicks with this," Ryan says encouragingly. Sara doesn't point out that technically speaking, this is Kristen's video and thus her clicks. "People like when we look goofy."

Shane sighs.

"Well, at least it's not handcuffs," he says.

"Thought you liked handcuffs," Sara says, and to her surprise, Ryan's saying it with her. They look at each other with wide eyes, and Sara nearly chokes to death on her chicken salad because she can't laugh, eat, and breathe at the same time. Ryan starts giggling uncontrollably.

Shane is all dignity. "Not on camera," he says, taking another bite of his sandwich and chewing very deliberately. "And you two are a menace."

She's coughing now, and Ryan thumps the heel of his hand hard between her shoulder blades.

* * *

It's a few weeks later when they start shooting for _ Ruining History _, and Sara's thrilled. She couldn't be prouder of Shane, who is clearly in his stride. His eyes are practically shining as he elaborates on a frankly weird discussion of Benjamin Franklin's possible weird sex parties.

She is just mindful that they need to be careful not to out themselves. It would be all too easy in an environment like this to say something that might give people the wrong (but kind of right) idea about their relationship. They're not ready to be out yet.

There may have been a quick reminder meeting about it in the prop closet not ten minutes before the filming started.

Sara's determined that if they ever do come clean about this unconventional relationship, she's going to make out like a bandit in the office pool. 

She's really enjoying watching Shane geek out with his history knowledge though. It's adorable. And what's just as adorable is how fucking proud of him Ryan looks.

They play off each other so well. Shane had decided to make it a panel show to prevent unfair comparisons between _ Unsolved _ and _ Ruining History, _ but they could have gotten away with it just being the pair of them again.

She's glad it's a panel though, because she's having a lot of fun being involved.

_ … Huh. That's a little meta, isn't it? _

But it's true, and it stands. He's got them all in masks now.

She appreciates that he's got Ryan in a pretty, glittery butterfly mask, while she's in a creepier, just as glittery plague-doctor mask. She can't help snorting when Shane asks Ryan if he feels sexier in it.

"Are you telling me you want to bang the plague doctor?" Ryan asks, gesturing to Sara. "Because that's what I'm getting from this line of questioning."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Sara says. "Don't bring me into this!" She stares directly into the camerato camera. "Please don't put that in there, for the love of God. I don't want the viewers speculating on that one, okay?"

"Or us, I'd assume," she hears Kate mutter. Jesus. This thing is going off the goddamn rails.

"We don't--" Shane sputters. "Holy shit, no."

"I mean, the nose is pretty long, if that's a thing you're--oh God. Nope. Nope, that's not a thing I'm saying at all," Ryan says, covering his mouth with his hands, and even under the mask, she can see his horror.

Tristan starts laughing like a lunatic down at the other end of the table. "Oh my God," he says. "Is her nose supposed to be a, a sex toy? Is that where this is going?"

"No!" Shane shouts, sweeping his hands through the air in giant 'X' motions, but it's too late. They all break into hysterical giggles at that. She can't help but wince, because the nose is pointy as fuck and would not be kind to insides of any kind, and down the table, she can hear Kate chanting multiple nos in a soft but horrified manner even as she continues to laugh. It takes a couple minutes for the five of them to pull it together.

Finally though, they peter off and Shane takes a deep breath. "Okay, everyone back? Are we done breaking like middle schoolers?" Shane asks brightly. Around him everyone nods. "Okay, good. Now, onto the pornography!"

This sets them all off again.

"Jesus Christ," she hears Shane mutter. But she can tell he's enjoying himself.

The shoot is pretty long, mostly because they're all having a good time with it. It's gonna be a great series. 

After they finish filming and have properly returned all the equipment to its places, people start heading back to the main office, leaving them alone on the empty set. She wraps her arms around Shane. "You did so good, babe," she says. He squeezes her back.

Ryan comes up behind them. "Space for one more?" he asks. She nods, and Shane must too, because suddenly Ryan is hugging them both 

"It's gonna be a good one, man," Ryan says, loud in her ear. "I can feel it."

"I hope so," Shane says. "Wanna get dinner tonight to celebrate a successful pilot shoot?" Shane asks. "My treat."

* * *

Two months later, they cancel _ Ruining History _.

It's a good miniseries: it's funny, it stands on its own, and it's even educational, but it's not getting the kind of clicks the higher ups had hoped for. So while they'll publish what they've got, there will only be nine episodes.

Shane holds it together at work all day in that unaffected way he has. But that night, when she and Ryan get him home, he cries. 

She'd known it was coming, and so had Ry. So they sit with him on the couch, hold him, and commiserate.

"It's a good fucking show," Shane mumbles thickly, wiping at his nose with his sweater cuff.

"I know," Sara says softly. She's a little teary herself, because she agrees with his assessment: it _ is _ a good show, and unlike so many of the videos that BuzzFeed produces, it's a lot more substance than clickbait. 

Hence why it didn't get the view count that it should have, by all rights.

"We're so proud of you, Shane. Fuck them. They missed out on a good thing. But you made that, and it was great, and this sucks." Ryan is protectively angry on Shane's behalf.

"I just…" He sniffles again. "This was my baby, you know?" He looks at Ryan. "Like, _ Unsolved _ is yours. It's ours, but especially yours. And _ Ruining History _ was mine, and…" his voice trails off. He swipes another tear from his cheek.

She feels Ryan sigh because of how it shifts both her and Shane. "I'm so, so sorry, bud," he says sympathetically.

Sara doesn't even know what to say, so she hugs him tighter. She hates this useless feeling.

The value of what Shane had created was greater than the numbers.

"It's…it's just not fair," Shane says.

And it's not, and there's nothing anybody can do about it.

So that night,they all curl up in Shane and Sara's giant bed, with Shane in the middle. All they can offer is their sympathy and their presence. She feels Ryan's arm attempt to hold them both, and she grabs his forearm in the dark, glad that she's not trying to comfort Shane alone.

It doesn't fix anything, but if nothing else, Shane knows that's he's loved. That's got to count for something.

* * *

"I'm thinking about going to contractor status," Ryan says that weekend, when they're all watching Netflix together on the couch.

She makes an unattractive noise in the back of her throat in shock. She feels Shane freeze beside her. 

Ryan plows on.

"I'm so fucking tired of how they use us, wring us out for ideas. We… We deserve better than that." She hears his throat click as he swallows. "I think it's time to check out new opportunities. Maybe make a few of my own."

He looks anxiously between the two of them.

"Any thoughts?" 

The silence is long.

The conversation is much longer.

She hears what he's saying. The points he's making are well thought out, cohesive. He's obviously been arguing his case in the shower for awhile, because every objection and question she and Shane have has a reasonable counter.

Even so, she can't help but be terrified. BuzzFeed can suck sometimes, and they're run by clicks and cash more than anything else… But they also have a 401k and health insurance.

Shane is anxiously tapping his fingers against his knees. "How long have you been considering this?"

Ryan blinks. "It's been brewing since they brought it up in that department meeting," he says. "And there's a lot of logical reasons it might be a good idea. But honestly…" Ryan pauses, anxiously licks his lips. "I didn't know for sure until they cancelled you."

He's looking at Shane, tender and gentle but still absolutely furious on his behalf. His eyes are shining.

"Don't do this for me, Ryan," Shane says, shaking his head. "I'm not quitting. Leaving because they cancelled a series that had mediocre numbers isn't a good idea."

"I'm not doing it to avenge you, or make an ultimatum, or a statement, or whatever. But I just…" Ryan forcefully blows the air from his mouth. "I'm tired of producing a product for clicks, instead of food for thought, or comedy, or, you know, art. I want to work on something that matters, something that's mine." He pats Shane's knee. "The fact that they dropped you has cemented the need to do something differently in my brain, but strictly speaking, this isn't a new thought at all."

There's silence. She reaches out and takes Ryan's free hand.

"You've already made up your mind," she notes, because it's obvious he has.

Ryan just nods.

"When?" Shane whispers. His throat sounds dry.

"Friday," Ryan says. "I'll tell HR Friday."

And there's really nothing to say to that.

Shane slips into little space not long after, and he's needy and silent. Harold is looped around his neck, but he clings to Ryan's shirt anyway, chewing anxiously on his knuckle. It's actually spooky to Sara, though Ryan seems to relax. 

"Do you want Papi to make you a snack?" Ryan asks, which is adorable. "Peanut butter banana grahams?"

She watches Shane nod silently, and hold the back of Ryan's shirt, shadowing him. It hampers his movements, but he doesn't seem to care.

"Will you make me some too, Ry?" Sara asks, because that sounds delicious. 

He does; he makes a ton of them and they sit at the table together and eat them in the quiet. Shane is still holding onto Ryan's shirt, she's got her foot nudged up against Shane's, and her free elbow knocks against Ryan's as they eat.

It's a lot to digest, and they're all doing it in their own way, making peace with Ryan's decision.

* * *

And just like he said, Ryan goes to HR on Friday.

She and Shane are supposed to be working, but instead they go lock themselves in the bathroom and hold each other. They don't talk. 

She wishes she could be in there with Ryan right now too, but even if everyone knew, that wouldn't be professional.

He said he'd meet them here when he finishes meeting with HR.

It feels like forever. She doesn't check her phone, because she doesn't want to know.

The knock on the door startles them both. "Occupied," Sara manages to say.

"It's me," Ryan says. His voice cracks a little.

Shane opens the door, and Ryan slips in. He looks shell-shocked.

"I did it," he whispers. "Holy shit."

They hug him. He's completely silent. He doesn't say or do anything. Sara can barely even feel him breathing.

"Okay," he says after a while. "I guess we should probably get back to work."

Sara nods.

"Are you okay?" Shane asks him. 

Ryan shrugs one shoulder.

"Honestly, I don't even know," he says. "I think I'm in shock."

Sara clears her throat. "I think we all are," she says.

Ryan squares his shoulders. "It's gonna be okay," he says. "It's not like I quit, after all. We're still gonna film Unsolved. We're still gonna see a hell of a lot of each other. It's just an opening for new opportunities."

He said that when he first told them he was going to do this too. She's not sure if he's convincing them or himself.

"Absolutely," Shane says. He sounds a little too enthusiastic.

"Absolutely," Sara says. She sounds more sure than Shane.

She's not, not really. But she's a firm believer in fake it 'til you make it.

"Ok," Ryan says. He looks at them both, down at her, up at Shane. "Think I'm gonna spend the weekend," he says.

She smiles, because it wasn't a question.

"Absolutely," she and Shane echo together.

It _ is _ going to be okay.


End file.
